Provoking Possibilities

How to Reinvent Your Self-Identity with Lydia Lee

September 14, 2023 Lauren Best Episode 17
Provoking Possibilities
How to Reinvent Your Self-Identity with Lydia Lee
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

What's your true calling? Your purpose?  My guest today is not just going to ask you this question; she's going to help you answer it.

In this episode I'm joined by the amazing Lydia Lee, a reinvention coach and solopreneur strategist, & she's here to help us unravel the mysteries of personal growth, embracing change, and discovering our authentic selves! 

Lydia also graciously shares on her awe-inspiring journey from a regular corporate gig to becoming a fearless business maverick! Through her experiences, she emphasizes the profound significance of understanding the stories tightly woven into our life decisions. She teaches us that by gently unraveling these narratives, you'll not only reveal your true passions but also your unique purpose in this world!

Together, our insights shed light on the importance of exploring different possibilities in both life and business, reminding us that growth often occurs outside of our comfort zones.  So, if you're craving an adventure that promises personal growth, resilience in the face of uncertainty, and the courage to follow your true calling, this episode is your golden ticket! 🌟

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Lydia Lee is a location independent entrepreneur, work reinvention strategist, True Purpose coach and founder of Screw The Cubicle. She helps passionate individuals, changemakers, and adventurous souls discover the work they’re meant to do, impact the world purposefully, and design an inspired life.

Since 2013, Lydia has helped hundreds of people transition out of the golden corporate handcuffs and build meaningful businesses that support them in living their dream life. She helps each client create a purpose-driven business based on their personal strengths, values, and personality, so that they build a business they truly love, and want to keep for years to come.


Connect with Lydia
Website: https://screwthecubicle.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/screw_the_cubicle/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lydiallee/?originalSubdomain=ca
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cubiclecrasher

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Lauren Best is a Certified Hypnotherapist and Provoker of Possibility. She works with Curious Individuals, Creative Entrepreneurs,  and Conscious Companies who are ready to explore how they can do things differently in their work and life.

She creates spaces and experiences that share with them the tools to dive into a world of self-discovery and growth where they can unlock an even greater potential inside of themselves using their subconscious minds.

Lauren has collaborated with public and private sector organizations, small businesses and solopreneurs across the globe from Canada to the UK, Netherlands, Australia, The United States and Singapore to help folks move through the noise, envision and come up with new ideas, and create bite-sized plans of action that support their desired area of transformation.


Links: https://linktr.ee/laurenbest_co

Website: https://lauren-best.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurenhollybest/

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@laurenbest_co

Free Hypnosis Audio: https://www.lauren-best.com/dreaming-during-uncertainty-hypnosis-audio/

Lauren Best (00:00:08) - Welcome to provoking Possibilities, where we reflect on pivotal life moments, ask thought provoking questions and dream up new possibilities for living a life you love that may be a little out of your current reality. I'm Lauren Best, a certified hypnotherapist and provoker of possibility, and I've created this podcast for people who are curious about exploring new ways of living, who are looking to connect deeper with their bodies, their intuition, their hearts, and then known, and who are really ready to just embrace their most authentic selves, to move into flow and into alignment. There is just so much that is possible for us when we open ourselves up to exploring new possibilities beyond our wildest imagination. So if you're ready and curious to begin exploring new possibilities, join me every week for a new episode of Provoking Possibilities on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's dive in. So today I have planned a meeting of the minds with someone very, very special to me. My own business coach, Lydia Lee, who is the reinvention coach and solopreneur strategist at Screw the Cubicle, and I have been working with Lydia in her 90 day launch program since 2020 to transition from employee to becoming my own boss.

Lauren Best (00:01:31) - But I can tell you she's been helping other purpose and heart driven folks like me since 2013 to not only make that transition, but to also reinvent how they want to work so that they can live the life sales they want to have. And she just has so many amazing superpowers that she is tapping into all the time, like helping you discover your own zone of genius and also inspiring you to really intentionally create your own version of purposeful work that really considers your strengths, your values and your personality. It is amazing working with her. So I am so excited to welcome Lydia all the way from Bali and welcome Lydia. Thank you for being here. Yay. It's a good morning in Bali.

Lydia Lee (00:02:14) - And it's so wonderful to like because we're in the start of 2023. Hopefully people are seeing this somewhat close to the top of the year. But I was so excited when you invited me on this conversation because we're going to talk about so many great things. So not only just on your journey. So for me to witness like you going from lost and overwhelmed and employee mindset to like all the great things that you are bravely and courageously producing today, like that is such a great like being on this side, being interviewed by you in your business right now.

Lydia Lee (00:02:44) - It's such a really great like, you know, great event, right? For me, a milestone event I think, for us to have together. So thank you for having me.

Lauren Best (00:02:52) - Definitely. It's like two really cool, one really cool milestone, I guess, that we can share together. And this is something that today I was really excited to chat with you about. When it comes to, you know, not only having these milestones, but really this topic of saying goodbye to these old identities. I was obviously so, so different when I first started working with you two years ago or three years ago. Now we're in 2023. But really, you know, as we grow and change, just realizing that, you know, when I started my business and I'm sure you know, it's the same with you and many people that you work with, it's like being hit in the face with, oh my gosh, who am I now? And I remember you saying it was like ten years of therapy.

Lauren Best (00:03:37) - And it was, you know, when you're starting your business and really going through a lot of, you know, professional and also personal change at the same time, for me, it really was something that I was so excited to have your wisdom to guide me through because it's something that you had actually been through and you are helping so many people through. And this crisis for me was like right away, what do I call myself? And like, what title do I get myself to like a much deeper experience and really grieving, you know, an old identity and then starting to step into a new one and realizing like, this is this isn't like the only big time this is going to happen where it might be hitting me in the face a lot harder than it had in the past. Like maybe in the past it was a lot more gentle. But now I can really go through these things and be more excited about, you know, this is a process that in fact will continue to happen over and over again.

Lauren Best (00:04:34) - So I would just love to really start off by asking you, like sharing any old identity stories that you've really had to shed in your journey, whether you know, it's that professional side or personal side, any stories that really, really have been instrumental and almost milestones for you when it comes to stepping into the new?

Lydia Lee (00:04:57) - Gosh, there are so many interesting like shifts that I've had. You know, this year is my 10th year anniversary, you know, of my business as, you know, 11th year and then my 10th year of living in Bali. So, you know, it's like it's been a decade, you know, over a decade worth of of experiences. And every year it's almost a new chapter in a book. And I and I used to be so afraid of uncertainty and change, you know, coming from an immigrant background, you know, coming from a culture, traditional culture of Malaysians, Chinese, Malaysians, no less of doing everything really safely and being, you know, facing these sorts of like no rule book pathways, which is so not what I've been taught as a child.

Lydia Lee (00:05:38) - You know, I'm the first entrepreneur in my family and probably like 50 years, you know, no one that I know in my family have been entrepreneurs. So when I first started being a business owner, I was really risk averse. I did everything sort of by the book or exactly how someone else would have done it. I just followed it kind of like a good student study. Be You know, and now, you know, really thinking a lot about like what has shifted the most in the last decade. I think it's like, you know, going through the changes and experiences and putting myself in circumstances like moving to a new country, having to, you know, fend for myself as a new entrepreneur without a business loan and sort of starting from scratch. All of that taught me, I think, years and years of experience of trusting my instincts or even finding my instincts, like, what's that? The difference between how I feel or what my version of success is, or happiness or joy versus what I think people expect of me, you know, or what would make my parents proud of me or what feels right to say to my friends and family.

Lydia Lee (00:06:43) - That is the thing they want to hear, right? And that took years. And I don't think it's an overnight thing where we sort of discover our identity or what we think is our identity from the get go. Right. You've experienced that. It's a lot of it's very messy. You know, sometimes you're like, think I'm this? Oh, no, I'm not that at all. That was just a little bit of lingering from corporate, you know, expectations. And then you sort of start to make little changes as you go, right. And all those little puzzle pieces, I think we say yes or no to. Right. That formulates our identity. When we start to take action on the right behaviors, right, then formulate our identity. I mean, James Clear speaks about that in atomic habits that if you want to change your identity, is about changing your habits so that the habits change your behavior and the behavior affects the identity of who you actually are. So it's not this miraculous, nebulous thing that, you know, you become.

Lydia Lee (00:07:39) - It's very conscious and intentional, right? Um, so in terms of the question of one of the some of the biggest changes from the beginning of my journey, as I mentioned, I came from an immigrant background of, you know, people that my parents struggled a lot to integrate into Canada, right? Which is where I moved to when I was about ten years old. I was sort of in an identity crisis from that moment anyway, from growing up for my first ten years in Malaysia, being in a very Chinese traditional religious household as well, and then going into my parents divorcing about three years after my immigrated, you know, coming into a bit of a broken home and then also having a bit of confusion like my Malaysian and my Canadian. My family does weird, you know, cultural things at home that people find odd, you know, when they come over to my house. And I want to be popular at high school, you know, like things like that that sort of I struggle between Western world influence and Eastern world influence.

Lydia Lee (00:08:35) - And, you know, as an adult wanting to actually keep both, you know, and choose both. Right. Ask my pathway. But when I decided to quit my job, which, you know, obviously came from a force, I wish I had that intuition that told me I want it to be an entrepreneur and have a better life. It actually took sort of, you know, a bit of a meltdown, a bit of a breakdown that happened to me during a business trip when I was at my old job where I developed agoraphobia in a hotel room in Russia in the dead of winter during one of my conventions, because I had been overworking about 70 hours a week for three years. At that point, I'd taken a holiday for two years, and my body, even though my mind was like, go, go, go, go, go, you know, that was my type, A personality. My physical body was like, No, we're going to put you down if you're not going to listen to the body, right? And the mind and spirit.

Lydia Lee (00:09:26) - And so that event was sort of my break down to a breakthrough moment, getting first of all, taking a break. I had to take a sabbatical from work because literally I thought I was going crazy and something was mentally wrong with me. And then luckily, I worked with a great psychologist that didn't, you know, give me a bunch of pills to numb out the pain. Instead, she really worked with me and it's still a therapist I work with today. Actually. Um, she really helped me to uncover, you know, what were the. Of things that weren't aligned with the way that I wanted to live my life. And people talk about values all the time. And I certainly if someone asked me what I valued at the time, I sort of had answers, you know, family time off vacations, holiday adventures. But it's kind of interesting when you think about these are my values, but am I living them out? It's a different story, right? And I wasn't I was waiting for a time to be more successful to do those things right.

Lydia Lee (00:10:23) - And we always have these sort of weird timelines of like, I'll do it when this happens. I'll do that when this happens. And then we never get that chance because things like illness or burnout, like what happened to me, right, kind of takes over and then you sort of realize the truth of your behavior, what you're, you know, doing to, in a way, create that reality for yourself and take responsibility of that. You know, I could absolutely have blamed you of my bad bosses or long hours, but a lot of those boundaries or lack of boundaries during my corporate life was sort of created by me, Right. Saying yes to those things and taking phone calls at midnight and things like that. Right. And so when I decided to make a transition, which wasn't overnight, it took me about nine months to figure out like, I can probably be a consultant in the same industry. I didn't start Screw the Cubicle till a year later, but what was the easiest route of escape? You know, they didn't require me to learn new things.

Lydia Lee (00:11:19) - I could sort of leverage my assets of my wisdom and knowledge and contacts in the industry. It took me nine months to kind of come up with that plan. But during that time, the emotional transition of like, Oh my God, what am I going to tell my immigrant parents, right? Who have envisioned my life to be a particular way because they've given up so much for me to be here and have privilege and have education, you know, and have freed up that I would have gotten if I grew up in Malaysia, for example. So there was that attachment as well to the supporting people, you know, that have given me pathway and also at the time when I quit my job, it was during an economic crisis in Vancouver, so my friends were getting laid off and going, Hello, you have a six figure job and you're giving that up because you want a dream of being free. Like, come on, get, get down to earth kind of thing and be grateful for even having insurance and a job and a mortgage and things like that.

Lydia Lee (00:12:20) - So there's that taking on of other people's, you know, baggage as well around their own world into whether or not I should make this decision. So there's always these sort of narratives and stories that are attached to our decisions that are not so black and white that's getting a job or starting a business. Right? And so part of that was working on, you know, that and actually understanding that when I make these choices that are right for me, I will show up as a better daughter. I will show up as a better friend. And even though there's noise of people. That will project their own insecurity, Right? My friends were sort of saying, hey, it's not safe to leave a job that give you security because all of us are looking for jobs right now. I had to understand that, you know. With those people are projecting their own fears. Right. And what is the state of their reality? To my own right and learning how to distinguish that and having empathy for their world, but also knowing that I have my own decisions to make right and not to be influenced by that.

Lydia Lee (00:13:19) - What's really huge, right, in making that leap of faith for myself. Right. And redefining, I think, my own version of success that a mortgage and all the things they tell you as an adult that you need to attach your name to. Yeah. Isn't maybe the most important thing that I'm looking for for fulfillment and joy, right? And being attached to even a job that I'm really good at that I knew I was going to get partnership for at 28 years old at the company and believing that that's my only pathway to success. You know, I had to sort of go, No, I can do that on my own without this carrot stick dangling in order for me to, you know, continue with something that wasn't making me happy. So those stories of who I was, my version of happiness, what what stories were given to me, you know, versus what stories I want to create on my own. Right? That takes time. And still I processed that every single day whenever I'm talking to family and friends right now.

Lauren Best (00:14:17) - Yeah. Yeah. So what kind? Because that's like the biggest part of it is, you know, sometimes realizing I love what you said about realizing this was not my story to begin with. And, you know, going through this awareness process of realizing, you know, I have all these things that on paper are like checkmarks of success to so many people in the world, yet it's not fulfilling. It's not supportive of your health and your life and all these things. And, you know, detaching from these stories, you know, I have used hypnosis and, you know, that's a big reason why I became a hypnotherapist because I saw how much it helped me. But are there other tools that you use when it comes to whether it's like recognizing here's the story again or here's this story that I haven't dealt with yet, and like, how do you work through that?

Lydia Lee (00:15:10) - Yeah. Mean therapy has been my number one tool. And like I said, I continue to be very loyal to my therapist because when you find the right partner to go through the inner world with you, you know, and not just like we don't date everyone on the planet, I think therapists are a big you know, when you search for the right therapies, it can be a lifelong relationship, really, you know, with this person.

Lydia Lee (00:15:32) - And I absolutely I'm so grateful for her to be in my life. And and, you know, therapy can help because you've got someone that's neutral and not emotionally attached to your world. You know, we do tend to go to friends, family, and, you know, sometimes that is a good idea. If that person can be quite detached from your reality and offer a much more sort of like space between you and them and and not project their own stuff on you. Right. So talking to my mom about it was not the best idea because she was like worried and anxious and, you know, and would plant those seeds. And when you're in uncertainty already, anything can kind of tip you over the cliff, you know? And so being very mindful about the people that you you you share your dreams to in the beginning of time, it's important because you're still in the unsteady stage of believing that truth for yourself, you know. And so working with the therapist often was a great tool for me to unravel the stories that, you know, made me fearful about doing something different or the stories of a responsibility, you know, of of retaining a sense of, I don't know, you know, making my mom really proud of me, you know, because her story of coming to Canada was that she was a very successful person in Malaysia.

Lydia Lee (00:16:48) - But the minute she came to Canada, none of her credentials or experience matter. So she started from a junior position as a new graduate that really hurt her ego. And so she started telling me about sort of that rage. Right. And anger around things that are really unfair. Right. That was happening to her. How you have to kind of keep your head down and work harder than everyone else to get to an opportunity. Right. So in my world, it was like, oh, you've got to sweat blood and tears to get to success because that's my mother's story. So that was implanted on me and that's why I work those 70 hour weeks. None of my colleagues were doing the same thing, you know, And I could probably have gotten to the same outcomes without working that much. But it was that constant need to prove myself right. That got me into the burnout and exhaustion. Right? And I certainly experienced it in my first few years of business. That didn't change in a way, even if I left corporate.

Lydia Lee (00:17:41) - It was a mindset and, you know, a belief system that I really, really needed to change, right? Another tool I really use is travel. You know, travel has been such a what I you know, what I call like the pattern interrupt of my life so that I don't get to this automated state of behaving because we're in familiar territory with the same friends, same routine, same job, same work, same house, same things we see every single week. It's really hard for our spirit and our minds to experience something new. It's almost to kind of like, you know, put ourselves in a circumstance that can help us evaluate what's my next course of action, because this is a brand new circumstance for me to deal with, right? We can very easily get on autopilot when we're just living sort of day to day the same way 365 days a year, right? So when I was traveling and moving places every month or two, you know, now not so much. I like, you know, sort of having a home and a base.

Lydia Lee (00:18:40) - But in the beginning when I was sort of traveling and becoming sort of more nomadic with my business and my lifestyle, you know, being in a new place, having to find new friends in community, learning where to find a place to live, where the next grocery store is, you know, like getting Internet, whatever it is, right? That needed to kind of be sufficient in my life. That got me out of my automated way of behavior to sort of allow myself to kind of play a game. You know, like every new city I was in, I was like, All right, how am I going to find new friends this time? You know, that might be different from another time, right? How would I use some of the cultural traditions or things that I'm learning for the local people, Right. To inform me in the way to live? That's a bit different. You know, when I first arrived in Bali, I remember like I would walk from like store to store in lightning speed and they'll stop me and laugh at me and they'll say, Where's the fire? Like, where are you going? Are you running for it? Yeah, but if I was walking like that in Vancouver, no big deal.

Lydia Lee (00:19:38) - Everyone walks like that. We're getting to work. You're getting on the train. We're doing things in hustle mode. But in a place like a little tropical island like Bali, where everybody moves very slowly, the way they do their ceremony and prayers every morning is very slow. And so the minute you act, the way you act, you know, you see it like, whoa, am a little rushing compared to everyone else. And that can be, again, a pattern interrupt to taking a pause and thinking, do I really want to do things this way? Right? So a change of environment, I think has really helped me to develop a sense of. Self because it helps me to kind of start over again sometimes. And starting over may not be a bad thing when we're trying to develop, you know, that sort of new sense of identity and give ourselves a fresh start.

Lauren Best (00:20:21) - Yeah, it's like so amazing just to hear you share in that way about environment and how that change in environment and even, you know, this new relationship with uncertainty, how much that sparks new possibilities for you and just a new energy in liveliness, not only in your life, but how that infuses into your work.

Lauren Best (00:20:43) - And, you know, when it comes to this comfort with uncertainty, I know that's something when I first started working with you, I was like, I want all, you know, the things define for me like what it is. I'm going to do.

Lydia Lee (00:20:57) - All the ducks in a row before I.

Lauren Best (00:20:59) - Do anything. Wrote the perfect offer. You know what it is? I'm going to call myself like, who am I in this new version of me? But I didn't let myself, you know, discover like discover that. And I know, like being a pandemic was really difficult for me as well. Travel is so important. And, you know, having that change in pace because, you know, I had been also living in Singapore and London before that. I know the exact same speed walk that you're talking about where I'm like when I go to those places now, I'm like, How could I keep up? Because it's just so intense. But it's, you know, this wanderlust in this ability to really be present and, you know, enjoy the people and the places that you find yourself.

Lauren Best (00:21:42) - And so I wonder as well, when it comes to working with the amazing folks that you work with, those who come to you like me. And I have to say, the 90 day lunch group was also such an instrumental place for me to feel safe with not knowing, like what my new identity would be or who I am and giving me that space to say I don't need to know and I don't need to ever know. But when it comes to these people like me who come to you and say, you know, I need to reinvent myself, I'm ready to reinvent my work, I don't know what it's going to look like yet. You know, what are some of these common stories, I guess, that you see in our group or, you know, others that you've worked with that really are these commonalities from people who are making that transition and maybe aren't walking the walk yet, who aren't? You know, for me, it was like, I want to be a nomadic, you know, have my own business and just travel.

Lauren Best (00:22:39) - And it was like the pandemic. Here I am sitting in the same place and not walking the walk based on circumstance. But, you know, now I'm starting to. But for those who haven't yet taken that leap to really start living. The life they're wanting to design. What are some of the things that you see that are holding them back or, you know, are these little pieces to the puzzle that can unlock this, this next kind of step in their journey for them?

Lydia Lee (00:23:07) - Well, as you know from being such an amazing community member of nine day launch, one of the big themes were always, you know, playing with is the idea of exploration and what I call self-made internships. Right. It's not the usual way people have learned how to build anything and or change their lives right in in a lot of the materials or even like the self-help gurus out there, it's kind of like they always think you should just know what your purpose is, right? And just live it out, you know, be brave and like jump off the cliff and live it out.

Lydia Lee (00:23:40) - And I'm a little bit of the other mind of like, yes, you we have to be courageous and brave to do big things in the world, but we certainly don't need to scare the shit out of ourselves from the get go by doing something so big and so overwhelming and so sort of like, Oh my God, I'm going to pee myself. This is so hard right away because I'm a big believer in sustainable change and small, tiny action as a way of easing our way into courage. Courage is not something that it just happens. Sure, some of us might be naturally courageous just because that's kind of maybe we lived in a household or our parents told us, You can do anything, you're the best thing in the world and you're like, Great. And you get a the complex, right? Sort of like, I am amazing and great if that that's where you came from. You've got, you know, a great asset of great support and encouragement. But some of us don't come from those families, don't come from a culture or a community that have supported a lot of our dreams in the past.

Lydia Lee (00:24:37) - And so we have to kind of be our own parent at that point and that and just like being a parent that is teaching a kid how to walk, we don't go, get up, buddy. Get walking in your diapers right now. Right? We sort of go, you know, crawl for two seconds, right? Like, just come to mommy for two seconds and climb up and yay, you win. Right? But as adults, we do that for children. For us adults, We're like, no, no, no. We expect you to know your purpose. Know your roadmap, Get going and get get things done immediately, you know? And I think we've lost the art of play when when it comes to adulthood. So all of us are waiting on this perfect idea, perfect alignment of stars in the sky, you know, perfect like thing. I call myself and my business and my offer type and all this sort of stuff before we do anything, because the narrative in society tells us that we have to be so certain before we take action.

Lydia Lee (00:25:30) - Right? But what if, you know and as we do that a lot in nine day launch and in the format of how I run the program from idea to launch is we have multiple chapters of experimentation kind of baked into the experience before we officially launch, which is the last stage of six phases of work, right? And so we experiment with, hey, trying things on for size. So today you might think you're a bit of a project manager and, you know, like you started there, right? You're like, I'm a design thinker. I've done project management. Seems like the right thing for me to do to try out right. And there's no wrong way to do this. Right. You you do something according to that skill set, that genius zone, and you work with a few people that you know. Right. Or put up some content or projects that are mini and sizable. Right. For you to experiment with that skill set and market research a little bit about those problems around that area.

Lydia Lee (00:26:25) - Right of clients or problem to solve that you're looking to do and see if you liked that arena for a momentary time. Right? And if you don't like it or you're like, it's not all of it, you can always reinvent the next project. So I like looking at things as little mini projects rather than the thing to launch immediate, right, Right. And so even with hypnosis, right, you had a few sessions with test clients and making sure you did it yourself first, right? Coming up with some free content in order to kind of see if people like certain topics and so forth and doing it generously because you are looking at it as a platform for your own internship. That doesn't matter if people like it or not. You are the one that gets to try things on for size and then feel into the action of doing that. Whether that brought you joy or not, or even curiosity to want to continue. Like sometimes it's not an immediate like this is my passion. It's the forever thing I die with, right? It's like, no, no, no.

Lydia Lee (00:27:27) - That made me feel happy when I shared that thing. And I want to continue being curious about that thing rather than being concrete about an outcome that I'm looking to achieve. And so giving ourselves a little bit of an internship timeline, right? I did that for myself for three months, for example, before I even took on coaching because I didn't know if I want to be a coach until someone told me on my blog that they needed a coach. I was like, What's a coach? And that's, you know, became it became the trajectory of my life later on. But if I didn't come curious about it, take on a little bit of that activity trial with some case study guinea pigs. You know, I did about eight of them before charged anyone. When I first started my business, I wouldn't have come to the realization in the style of coaching I like in the problems I want to solve and what problems I do not want to solve. When I met them, you know? And what kind of clients were my soulmate clients or the clients that felt easy to help versus clients that to convince about my values and my philosophies.

Lydia Lee (00:28:25) - Right? So being able to experience a version or little tidbit of something that you think you want to do, I think can bring so many more clues to the truth of whether to pursue it or not, versus thinking, processing, ruminating about it, because it just stays in your head. It doesn't never gets out there.

Lauren Best (00:28:47) - To.

Lydia Lee (00:28:48) - Be seen and experience, you know? So part of I think what I always advice new people that are in that crossroad of should continue with what I used to do in corporate or should I repurpose some of those skills? Should I take some combinations of skills and leave the rest behind? Now there is no magic ball or magic, you know, glass future ball that I can look in and go, Yep, that's your purpose. But what we can do together is mix some mini projects to experiment with different versions of what how you want to impact. What's that sweet spot for meaningful work. That could be a great combination of multiple skills and soft skills, right? And trial it through some beta testing, right.

Lydia Lee (00:29:33) - Of many projects so that we can come to some version of conclusion. And also, by the way, it will never be perfect. I still don't know my ultimate purpose because I don't really believe in an ultimate purpose. I think we are responsible for living and aligning ourselves to the most purposeful actions that we want to take with our business and our life. And it constantly evolves. What was purposeful last year for me may not be purposeful for me today, so all I'm responsible for is doing more things that get me closer to the feelings of purpose and alignment rather than the end goal. You know, pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. That's the thing that's going to be written on my tombstone. Yeah, you know, like that. Don't want to know. The one thing I want to know. I've multiple things I can live out to be on purpose.

Lauren Best (00:30:18) - Yeah. And that that's such a big shift that I know I had to experience was like going from this. What is this one thing or what is this thing that I can just come up with and then have stability, find stability in? Because that was something that I had craved at the time when I started my business and exploring what those possibilities might be like.

Lauren Best (00:30:38) - But now I'm to this place where it is experiencing all these different things and finding new possibilities that I hadn't even imagined through just experimenting with something. And that's where things have fallen into my lap or just popped into my head and without, you know, taking that tiny action or seeing out a mini project and not putting so much pressure on it, you know, wouldn't have led me to this place. And I think this is something that you're extremely good at. And because it is someone like or you as well are very multifaceted. And that was something for me. It was like, Well, I can do all these things right. Where do where do I start? And I think that is a super power that you have is, you know, allowing people to see that you don't have to pick just one thing and you can try different things. So when it comes to, you know, the value of having a diverse identity or diversifying our identities or what we think we could do or could be, or try out, what are some of the different value that you also see in that or have found for yourself?

Lydia Lee (00:31:50) - Mhm.

Lydia Lee (00:31:51) - You know, I love working with these people that are sort of unconscious, intentional characters, right. That sort of have a multitude of, you know, their problem is not not having an idea, their problem is having too many ideas, you know, and too many skill sets, too many curiosities, too many interests in too many things. Right. And absolutely, there's focus that we need to have right when we built something like having a business. But there can be a more creative way, you know, to look at a combination that you are probably going to be built as a multitude, multifaceted human. We might as well feature that as a benefit in your business, right? Where you don't get one thing with me, right? Where I might solve a particular problem. That's the focus, right? Solving specific problems that you feel meaningful to solve, right? Based on your life experience of the world, Right. I, I have problems I want to solve based on my own problems.

Lydia Lee (00:32:42) - Right? Like what happened to me in corporate not being able to find the right career counselor that had the combination of business mind and therapy, mind and, you know, career driven routes. I can find that trilogy. You know, for a solution. And so therefore, I created one, which is the cubicle that combines a more therapeutic approach, career approach, career driven approach and a business focus. Right. And all three has to kind of happen with the magic of what I'm trying to do, right? But that was born from my own pain. And same with yours, right? Your business was born from your own struggles to want to solve some problems for yourself. That's always a great way to start to go. What am I meant to do right now is usually what am I on the pathway of solving for myself as well? That I have the best interest in wanting to immerse myself in. Right? And then when you think about skills, you know, I think it's great when people have multiple values that there are value skills, right? Soft skills, hard skills, whatever is, you know, the thing that you know how to do and figuring out a way to create an experience for people with those skills rather than saying I'm just a copywriter and I only write, for example, right? Like if you had a great storytelling mind or you have just a knack for like extracting some of the interesting stories or most impactful stories that really matter to people from someone's narrative and brain and history, that's a skill set that's not just writing, right? Like, I want to work with a copywriter, can get the gems out of my head because I can't seem to highlight what they are.

Lydia Lee (00:34:14) - Everything kind of merges into one for me, right? So it's, it's, it's it's so much more valuable and you're more sought after. I think when you can figure out how to describe the value of your work.

Lauren Best (00:34:27) - Well, there have been so many amazing nuggets of wisdom. I know both of us could talk forever and ever about this kind of thing, so I just need a part two. I know we do. We definitely will. We definitely will do because there's so many wonderful milestones that I know I've been able to experience on my journey with your support. And you know, you're ten years ahead of me. Congratulations as well on that huge, amazing milestone. So I just thank you so much, Lydia. And I know we've mentioned quite a bit about the 90 day launch academy, which I am a part of, but I would love for you to share with everyone where else they can find you, how they can work with you and how they can, you know, experience more nuggets of wisdom from you.

Lydia Lee (00:35:14) - Right. So the the beginning journey of, you know, if anyone's listening that would like to figure out what is that ideal business that's based on our my personality type. You know, we talked a lot about genius zones today. Like what's an alignment of like, what's my natural tendency? You know, what am I strengths that I want to be leveraging towards a business. So I'm not like picking just from the Internet of what people are doing, but actually being more focused on how I'm designed. All right. On a personal level and what kind of business type business offers. You know, the way I would operate in my genius zone, I always recommend to start with taking my quiz, right? Which helps you to kind of there's five profiles that are specific to service based business types and answering nine questions, which will take you less than a minute and a half. You'll be able to get a great report that will tell you about how to leverage your strengths. What are some things to watch out for when it comes to your personality? Type in a business building setting and what sort of offer types are right for your personality type? And I'll send you a bunch of educational content that's going to help you to kick start the entrepreneurship journey in the most simplified way and most aligned way, right with your way of operating in a business.

Lydia Lee (00:36:27) - And so you can get that quiz at my website. Screw the cubicle. Com forward slash quiz or you'll see it in the top bar when you get into the home page. And then for people who really want to get all my free content, which I do a lot of every month, whether they're YouTube videos, my newsletters, which I write every month, and tidbits of helping you through your career transition journey and starting a business or a meaningful business. I would subscribe to my email, right? You can find that as well on my website. Or go to screw the cubicle. Com forward slash newsletter and in my home page of my website there's all these resources to get in touch with me and watch my YouTube channel, right? So you can binge watch a lot of people do that right from the get go. Binge watch the playlists on my YouTube channel that is categorized like a Netflix episode, right? Like there's like career transition. They're starting a meaningful business. There's growing in a more authentic marketing plan, right, for your business, all these different categories, mindsets on there.

Lydia Lee (00:37:25) - So you can binge watch some of those YouTube videos as a great starting point. But getting on my email is usually the best one to get all the updated and sort of new musings that I have around all the tips and advice that I have for people. So yeah, I hope to see more people in the community.

Lauren Best (00:37:41) - Yeah, I mean, I think I was subscribed to your newsletter for months before I ended up joining the program. So for anyone who has been listening and is kind of in this place of uncertainty and are just starting to really think of different possibilities for reinventing your work. So I can't believe all this content is free. Lydia It's just absolutely amazing. So definitely subscribe to that newsletter and check out those videos because her content is so rich and so insightful. And thank you, Lydia, for sharing all your wisdom with us.

Lydia Lee (00:38:14) - Thank you for having me. I could have had a conversation for another hour, so let's definitely do a part two sometime soon.

Lauren Best (00:38:20) - That's it. We'll see you later.

Lauren Best (00:38:22) - Thank you.

Lydia Lee (00:38:24) - Thanks, Lauren.

Lauren Best (00:38:26) - I am so excited to bring this little treat to you because right now I am offering a buy one, get one offer for my private hypnosis happy hour sessions, which for two sessions is just $222, which is the price of one session on its own. So right now you can buy one, get one for the price of one, just $222 for two sessions. And within these hypnosis happy hour sessions, we can focus on whatever it is you want to show up with, whether you have a goal in mind or some sort of desire, and you feel like there's just blocks and limiting beliefs that are stopping you from actually going out there and following your intuition, or whether you're struggling to manage your time, your energy, to set boundaries or want to show up in the world a little bit differently than what you are right now. We can also figure out how to connect back to your intuition a little more. Listen to the whispers of your mind and do some work with your nervous system and just feeling comfortable and safe in your body.

Lauren Best (00:39:32) - We can focus on letting go of old stories, rewriting your beliefs, reprogramming those beliefs, and just really visualizing what your idea of success could look like in whatever it is you're going through at the moment. So do know that there will be a limited amount available, but you can book these sessions all the way through to the end of the year. So right now you can visit my website, Lauren, and book those session through there or follow the link below and you can get access directly to that Bogo offer for private hypnosis Happy Hour, which will be two sessions for $222. So make sure you don't miss out. And I cannot wait to support you to really connect to your subconscious mind and see where the session might take you. Thank you so much for joining me on this journey of exploring new possibilities and embracing your most authentic self. I appreciate you and your willingness to open your mind and your heart to new ideas and ways of being that are beyond your current reality. So if you found value in this episode, please take a moment to leave a reading and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to this podcast.

Lauren Best (00:40:51) - Your support helps us to spread the message of compassion, self discovery and personal growth to more people who may benefit from it. And if you're looking for additional support on your journey of self-discovery and transformation, I invite you to visit my website at Lauren Bascombe, where you'll find resources, courses and coaching services to help you navigate life's challenges with more ease and joy and confidence and support. So please check that out. And more than anything, I hope you'll remember that you're not alone on this journey. We are all in this together. And by embracing our most authentic selves, we can create more compassion and connection to the world. So please keep dreaming, keep exploring and keep provoking possibilities with love and intuition. I'll be back soon with more thought provoking questions, inspiring stories, and powerful insights and conversations to support you on your journey. But until then, take care of yourself and others and remember that you are worthy of love and possibility.

Saying Goodbye to Old Identities
Shedding Old Identities
From Risk-Averse to Trusting Your Instincts
Realizing the Truth of Your Behavior
Challenges in Making the Transition
Tools for Working Through Old Beliefs
The Relationship with Uncertainty
Common Stories and Challenges in Reinventing Yourself
The Value of a Diverse Identity
Finding Your Ideal Business Based Off Your Personality Type
Supporting Self Discovery and Personal Growth

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